Feeling Blue
by Alice of the Ashes
Summary: The events at Jurassic World come with an adjustment period for our girl.
1. Abandoned

A/N: Fallen Kingdom has yet to come out in the US and for all I know there's stuff in there that throws this whole fic out the window. But this fandom needs some love and I think Blue was in a rough place after JW.

I'm following the film's canon, in which raptors are said to be smarter than primates. I know that's not how it actually was but let me enjoy my JP raptors.

* * *

It was no surprise that they had followed the Indominus Rex, at first. She had given them freedom.

Freedom, true freedom, was something they had not tasted in their lifetime. From the moment the genetically engineered raptors had hatched from their eggs in the white, bright, sterile lab, they had been under the constant supervision and control of humans. Pens, chutes, cages, tranquilizers, collars, Pavlovian conditioning and training.

You couldn't blame them. Owen didn't. When he lay in the hospital bed under InGen's directive (just for a night, Clare had assured him), gauze taped to a graze on his face, heartbeat monitor on one finger, IV drip in one arm, staring up at the white ceiling now grey with the evening's shadows, he didn't blame them. They had been following their instincts, doing what they thought was best with their limited understanding of the situation. Hell, in their skin, he would have done the same thing. Food, survival, and reproduction. That was all they cared about, and the Indominus had guaranteed them two of those. Possibly all three, eventually. The original Jurassic Park had run into some tricky problems with dino reproduction.

Not all of it had been bad. Starvation and disease was never a threat. Neither was predation (the only predators they had to fear were each other, and Echo had the scar and permanently offset jaw to prove it). And Owen was kind to them, treating them with the same respect that he would treat any animal under his care. He had been the first thing they saw out of the egg, and he was the one they saw as their leader, their alpha.

But Owen was not one of the raptors, and nearly every order he gave was contrary to the behavior written into their DNA, stamped on their very being. Don't fight. Pay attention to and obey me, the soft human who never comes down from the raised walkway to eat and spar and run with you. Come when I call. Don't attack the hapless aide who falls right at your feet. Don't run off when you are released from your enclosure for the first time.

So it was no surprise that they had gone turncoat when the Indominus Rex had appeared before them – towering, powerful, blood staining her teeth and claws, the embodiment of the bloodlust and predatory rage they had longed to let loose since they took their first breaths – and spoken their language. She had offered them her assistance and a place by her side if they obeyed her. All they had to do was kill the humans who had oppressed and controlled them for their entire existence.

It had been a mistake. Her motivations became obvious. She did not see the raptors as kin. She had no regard for what happened to them. She had no intention of forming a pack with them. She was using them as tools in her revenge. The youngest, Charlie, didn't even survive the initial skirmish with the humans. Echo and Delta were cut down by the Indominus the moment they ceased obeying.

Blue was the only survivor. With the gift shops and food court in ruins around her, Blue looked to Owen for guidance, her only remaining pack member, her alpha. She chittered at him, asking if she could come along, if he would accept her back. Her sisters were dead. Her home was destroyed. She had nowhere to go, and it was partially her fault. Her sisters would not have joined the Indominus if she had remained faithful, if she had been an example.

He shook his head. _No_.

Blue was not one to beg. With only the slightest hesitation, she turned and trotted away, directionless. She turned a corner and was gone. Gone to lick her wounds, physical and emotional.

In one evening, Blue found herself alone and free. For the first time in her life.

* * *

The first thing Blue sought was privacy. Her battered body ached, and she needed time to think and rest. She found refuge in the landscaping between a café and a restroom, nestling under a large bush. She licked blood from the gashes in her pebbly hide and curled herself into a ball. Hunger pinched at her belly, but she was loathe to leave her hiding spot. Resting her head on the ground, she listened to the sounds of Jurassic World's tenants running rampant. Instinctively, she kept herself small, quiet, and hidden, large yellow-orange eyes open and darting about, on the watch for any potential threats.

She might have gone running into the night to explore, to hunt, to feel the night air rushing in and out of her lungs. If her sisters were not all dead, if her alpha had not dismissed her, if her body did not throb with pain, if her entire concept of the world had not been shattered.

Fear kept her hidden and quiet. In fits, she slept, jerked awake by the primordial shrieks and howls of the island.

She awoke with first light, famished. Her joints were stiff and achy. Flies buzzed around one of the deeper wounds on her flank. She emerged from her hiding place cautiously. Winged dinosaurs soared with the parrots and seagulls, pteranodons and dimorphodons. Bellowing echoed from somewhere in the distance. For a long moment she stood in the middle of the open food court, among the scattered tables and chairs and park memorabilia, peering about, nostrils working. She didn't detect any threats. She did smell scents she had never smelled before. Fried, processed foods and sugared sweets. Old, from nearly twenty-four hours before. But nearby, and possibly edible.

Blue followed her nose through the shattered glass door of a food kiosk. The fleeing guests had left their meals on the tables or dropped them to the floor in their haste. Most of it had been picked over by the flyers, one of which remained in the building, picking at a stale hot dog. Blue screeched, sending the dimorphodon flapping out the window. She lapped up a few half-eaten burgers and a scattering of cold fries. Leaping over the counter, she snuffled and dug around, tearing open a bag of buns, which she couldn't stomach.

She detected the faint scent of meat around the handles of the large walk-in fridge, and fidgeted with the handle for several moments before she worked out how to get the door open. The rush of chill air sent her skittering back, and the roar of the fan gave her pause. How cowed she had become, with her sisters and alpha gone. As she hesitated near the door, fingers twitching, head lowered, the refrigerator alarm began to beep. Blue jumped back, then bounded into the fridge with a snarl. She dragged boxes of thawing patties and hotdogs out of the fridge, and gorged herself while the refrigerator continued to fret.

She slaked her thirst in a decorative fountain outside the kiosk. The water tasted of chemicals.

Blue sniffed at an abandoned tyrannosaurus plushie flecked with blood and, to the best of her ability, pondered what to do. Owen had always been there to take charge and give the raptors direction. He was gone now. The walls and pens had been confining, but they also meant safety and security. They were gone. Her sisters were gone, no one to watch her back. A mistake out here could mean death.

She'd killed for food before. Chased down little squealing pigs inside her run with her sisters. That had hardly been hunting, killing soft and defenseless creatures a fraction of her size. She had never faced anything like the beasts she had seen since being released from her pen. She was far from the largest or strongest thing roaming around, she had learned. There were things out here that could kill her as easily as she had killed pigs and goats.

The old way of life, of being near the top of the pecking order and filling herself on as much tender pork as she needed, was over. She had no pack, and she had no home to call her own.

She needed to hide. She needed trees, bushes, cover. Blue ran along the pavement at full speed, hoping she would be too fast for any sort of ambush, and after several twists and turns bounded over a low railing and into the rainforest. Panting, she tucked herself against a tree trunk and listened. No pursuers.

Water was not of much concern. She didn't need to drink much, it rained often, and she knew where the fountain was if she grew desperate.

Food was more of an issue. She needed a lot more food than water. Without a pack, hunting would be a challenge. There had to be creatures out there smaller than her, surely. If there were, she would find them.

As far as creatures larger than her went… she was fast. She just had to hope she was fast enough.

* * *

And day by day, Blue survived. She was a shadow of the terror she was with her pack, but she was alive. She moved around, never sleeping in the same hollow or bush twice. She took shelter under thick tree cover during the frequent tropical storms, then emerged to lap up the puddles left behind. She hid when large herds came by, ever watchful for a straggling hatchling that she could safely snatch off. She raided unguarded nests and scavenged kills. Twice she ate meat so putrid she vomited precious calories into the grass. The wounds from her battle with the Indominus healed into pinkish-purple scars and one of her ribs didn't set quite straight. She earned a few new scars too, in her battles with protective mothers and prey that was a little too large to take down with one bite.

Days slid by, then weeks. Blue's ribs were faintly visible through her hide. She got mean. Meaner than a prehistoric killing machine would naturally be. She also became afraid, took on fear as part of who she was. This Blue would not have hesitated to kill the clumsy feeding assistant because Owen said not to. This Blue would not have eagerly followed Owen atop his metal roaring monster into a strange forest. This Blue would not have fought the Indominus to protect her alpha and his kin – she would have run. This Blue wasn't living, she was just surviving, a genetically engineered ghost from the world's past, dug up from the earth and dropped into the jungle without the tools necessary to thrive. No pack. No older raptors to teach her.

Blue's eyelids twitched when she dreamed. Her lips jerked back and her nostrils flared. Sometimes she dreamed of the Indominus leading them astray and killing Delta and Echo in front of her; of coming across the smoking remains of Charlie in the dark jungle; of tearing the Indominus' pale, spiny flesh and seeing that monstrous _thing_ leap out of the water and drag her out of sight. She dreamed that the T Rex came for her, lumbering footsteps shaking the earth and roar bellowing through the maze of trees and no matter how much Blue tried she wasn't fast enough. She dreamed of being crushed beneath a herd of panicking herbivores in a hunt gone wrong. She dreamed of chasing gun-toting humans in night-vision goggles and body armor.

But mostly she dreamed of before. She dreamed of Charlie and Echo and Delta, their petty squabbles and races around the pen. She dreamed of gorging herself on soft pig flesh. And she dreamed of Owen with his bucket of chicken and his clicker and his gentle hands and his soft voice and his calm, firm assurance in every situation. Sometimes, she dreamed that he came back for her.

 _That's my girl, Blue._


	2. Reunion

A/N: So I finally saw Fallen Kingdom. I've only seen it once so if this isn't totally in line with the film you know why.

* * *

The humans showed up not long after the mountain began rumbling and belching thick black smoke that blotted out the sun. It did not escape Blue's notice that the mountain had been getting gradually worse. It was disturbing. Perhaps the humans had been drawn by the dark smoke and the angry noises. Perhaps they had returned to live on the island again. Perhaps they were here to kill, like they had killed Charlie.

Whatever they were there for, Blue wanted no part of it. She disliked humans, with their great thundering vehicles and sterile labs and concrete walls and long list of tests. She preferred her simple existence, where her worries were serious but few. Where all that mattered was eating and not being eaten. Unavoidable solitude had _made_ her solitary; she had taken on avoidance like a mantle.

She heard them when they first landed on the shore and she moved far inland, into the jungle. It wasn't until a few hours later that she heard vehicles approaching, roaring and tearing through the undergrowth. She hid behind the rusting wreck of an old car. Let them pass her by and continue on their business. Old Blue would have been tempted out by her curiosity. Not this Blue. This Blue had learned the cost of bravery and foolishness.

The cars did not come any closer, but a human did. Alone, and directly toward her hiding place.

"Blue?"

Her pupils shot wide, then refocused.

Owen stepped closer to the car. She held still. A handful of compies spooked and darted out from inside the decaying car, startling him. She heard him exhale and turn to leave. Something in her snapped, and she leaped onto the undercarriage of the Jeep with a screech.

It was him, it was Owen. He was tentative, hesitant, clicker and jerky in hand, but he was happy to see her, she could tell. There was a softness to his voice when he spoke: "Hey, girl."

She jumped down to the forest floor, growling, tail lashing. She barked at him. What was he doing here? Where had he gone, and why for so long? What did he want?

Owen was unsettled, trying to project calm, but she could smell the fear rolling off him even as he babbled to her. Where was the firm assurance she remembered? Gone with her and the pack's betrayal? Or had the years of hard survival on the island sharpened her and made his weakness more apparent?

He tossed a strip of meat at her, and she snorted when it hit her face. Blue had no interest in treats anymore, and she wasn't in a playful mood. She had dreamed many times of Owen returning for her, but this wasn't a dream. She was angry. She was angry with him for leaving her, and angry with him for expecting her to fall in line again. She was angry that he was afraid of her. And above it all, Blue had gotten quite used to governing herself.

Owen seemed to get the message. He licked his lips and put the meat away. Still talking to her – always talking, Owen was – he extended his hand. Against her better judgement, she snuffled at it. She should just leave, she knew she was stronger than him and he wouldn't be able to make her stay. But with his scent came a rush of memories: toys and wrestling when she was a tiny hatchling, head rubs, a safe and dry place to sleep, training in the pen. His fingers touched her snout, and she huffed hot air onto his palm. When was the last time another creature had touched her without aggression? Three years prior, when Owen had removed the camera from her head.

Men emerged from the trees and surrounded them. Blue's tenderness vanished, and she drew back from Owen with a hiss. She had lowered her guard for a moment, and it had been a mistake. Softness was costly, had already cost her enough.

Owen spoke to them harshly, raising his voice. They were disagreeing about something. Blue didn't know if Own had led the men there and she didn't care. She was leaving. One man stepped forward from the circle a bit, raising his gun, and she pounced.

She pinned him to the ground, and amidst all the yelling and shuffling of the men around the clearing, a shot went off below her and pain blasted through her stomach. She snapped the man's neck with a single bite and whirled, stumbling, shrieking, ready to fight her way out for all she was worth. Something pricked her neck and dizziness swam over her. Owen yelled and lunged toward the circle of men. She fell, and everything went black.


	3. Lockwood Manor

A/N:*lightning flare*

* * *

All she was aware of was pain and motion. The pain flared in her gut, spreading out to heat her bones. She felt herself pitching and rolling. Something was covering her face so she couldn't see. She was cold. She slipped into unconsciousness again.

When Blue woke, she could see, though not very much. All there was to see was the inside of the shipping container. She was tied down and couldn't move. Blood was leaking from her stomach and pooling underneath her body. A dusty tarp had been loosely thrown over her legs. There was a young woman bending over Blue. Although her hands were controlled as they moved over Blue's body, pressing gauze to the wound and feeling her pulse in her neck, she smelled of fear. Blue's breathing sounded loud and far away.

She slipped in and out of awareness. The woman fussed over her. She dreamed of playing with her pack when they were young and small and could be amused with treats and toys. She dreamed of fighting the Indominus. She dreamed of Owen. She dreamed she was back in the jungle. The pain was one constant, sustained note, present even in her sleep.

Raised voices roused her. Blue rolled her eye around the cargo container and saw Owen, face pinched in sadness and worry and righteous anger. He reached out and placed a warm, steady hand on her head. There were other people in the container too, all of them speaking, but Blue was too dizzy and nauseous and _tired_ to do anything but look up at Owen and breathe. A pair of hands pressed firmly on her stomach and the pain spiked. She groaned and tears leaked from her eyes.

Then Owen was gone, and she sank back into darkness.

* * *

Beeping, hushed murmuring, harsh chemicals, cold metal. A lab. Blue knew where she was without even opening her eyes. The pain was still there, but bearable, a dull ache with intermittent sharp flares that she could tolerate, just barely. She heard the tense, angry voice of the woman who had been fussing over her before. She feigned unconsciousness for some moments more. Clinking instruments, a squeaky wheel. She opened one large, orange eye. Through the bars of her cage, she could see men covered in stark white head to toe shuffling around between tables of beakers and electronics, conferring with their heads close together. The woman was handcuffed to Blue's cage.

Blue abandoned all pretense of being asleep. She stood and rammed her skull against the bars of her cage. The bustle of the lab paused, and Blue let out a series of sharp barks, giving the cage another rattle. The scientists resumed their work. She growled and shrieked and hissed until it became clear she was being ignored.

Zia snorted from where she sat, as far away from Blue's cage as the handcuffs would allow. "You and me both."

Any attempt to break out of the cage was a waste of time. In Blue's experience, she would get out when the humans wanted her out. She paced back and forth in the cramped space, breath coming in angry huffs. Zia watched her with an edge of nervousness. There was a faint odor wafting around that Blue recognized, it was the big rex. She couldn't identify where it was coming from. Herself?

Blue could hear a swarm of activity beyond the walls, vehicles and voices. She wondered where Owen was, where he could have gotten off to. Why would he leave her here, so soon after finding her? Maybe he had wanted her to be brought here, maybe she would never see the outside of a cage again. She snapped her teeth together, and Zia jumped. Trusting Owen had been a mistake. How quick she had been to forget the trouble humans brought.

Blue paced and Zia watched, until Dr. Wu barged in. He was angry, on edge, firing off orders and forcibly pushing one scientist who wasn't moving fast enough. That was when the trouble started.

* * *

Blue was accustomed to being indoors. She's spent her fair share of time in cold labs. But this was something different. The wood-paneled walls, carpets, furniture, and curtain-framed windows were new. The distant screams of human panic and bellows of animal agitation were not.

Head still ringing from the explosion, she navigated the halls of Lockwood Manor, skidding around corners, tripping up stairs, and slipping on rugs. She knew she should be focused on escape, but she couldn't curb her curiosity; she paused to investigate every new discovery: a marble bust sitting on a shelf, a taxidermy tiger that smelled like dust, a ticking grandfather clock, a full-length mirror (this last held her attention for several moments). That was why, instead of sprinting miles into the forest, she found herself following the sounds of Owen's shouts.

* * *

A/N: I anticipate having one or two more chapters to this fic


	4. The Indoraptor

A/N: Sorry to have you guys wait so long for an update. Again there might be some inconsistencies due to lapses in my memory and some minor creative freedoms.

* * *

Blue slid around a corner, claws gouging the polished wood floors, and rushed toward Owen's I-mean-business voice. She stopped dead in the doorway. A black, snarling figure hunched in the middle of the room, whiplike tail thrashing, saliva dripping from its jagged teeth. There was something familiar in its long arms and curved talons, its skull-like face and lipless mouth, the malicious glint in its eye. There was a lot about it, she realized, that reminded her of the bloodthirsty Indominus. The one who had misled her and her sisters, the reason that Blue had spent years alone and friendless in a strange jungle.

There was a whimpering child huddling on the bed. Owen stood between Blue and the inky monster, back to the doorway. His attention was completely focused on the creature that was poised to leap on him, and so he didn't notice Blue behind him until she let out a screech and threw herself at the Indoraptor, defending the closest thing to a friend that she had as much as venting her anger and loneliness on this ghost of the Indominus.

Like the Indominus, its hide was tough, nearly impervious to her claws and teeth. There was an odd scent coming from it, something she couldn't place, something she couldn't know was male. He hissed and screamed, twisting and snapping, knocking over furniture and tearing the wallpaper. Blue crawled over his back and ducked under his claws. She had no one to back her up this time, no sisters or rex. No one would be coming to her aid if she got caught.

She recognized the chittering and barking coming from the Indoraptor. He was trying to communicate, but she wouldn't be making the same mistake twice.

Blue sank her teeth into the less-tough underside of the Indoraptor's throat, and he sent the both of them through the window. As they landed in a struggling heap on the roof, Blue was dimly aware of Owen ushering the shrieking child further along the top of the building. The Indoraptor tensed against her. It was the child he wanted. And Owen would protect the child, had been ready to die for it. Blue desperately clawed at the Indoraptor's ribs, but she couldn't even break the skin and he hardly paid her any mind. Digging his talons into the nape of her neck, he flung her aside.

She slid down the rain-slick shingles on the opposite side of the roof, managing to stop her descent just before she plummeted to the ground several stories below. For a moment she clung to the roof there, panting, the downpour washing the blood from her neck and sides in red rivulets. Trying to stop this _thing_ seemed futile. Her attacks had no effect, and it was just a matter of time before he killed her. Perhaps it would be better for her to crawl back into the mansion and find her own escape.

The girl gave another scream and Blue could hear Owen's low, urgent tones. The Indoraptor would kill Owen, easily. A peal of thunder rattled her bones, and Blue began to inch her way back up the roof. Owen was the only creature that had shown her kindness. And she hadn't become the beta and been responsible for keeping her sisters in line by running away from a challenge.

As Blue crested the peak, she saw the Indoraptor perched above a hole in the ceiling. He had Owen and the child cornered on the edge of the rooftop, ugly maw open in a triumphant howl. Blue didn't think. She threw herself at the Indoraptor and felt them tip over and fall, plummeting through the mansion. She braced for a bone-crunching impact, but the Indoraptor smashed onto a replica triceratops head and his crumpled body broke her fall. Blood pattered to the floor in a steady stream. Blue lay on the still-twitching Indoraptor, gasping and trembling with adrenaline. The bedlam in the mansion was getting worse. She had done her part in helping Owen, now it was time for her to leave before something nastier could come along. She dropped to the floor, and turned her back on the grisly scene.

* * *

A/N: Yes, it's canon that the Indoraptor is male.

One more chapter and then I think this fic will be wrapping up. Thank you for all the reviews and follows.


	5. Into the Woods

A/N: And so we find ourselves at the final chapter. Thank you for everyone who reviewed, followed, or even just left likes/kudos, it means a lot just to know people are reading and enjoying.

* * *

Something happened while Blue was prowling around the Hallways of Lockwood Manor, nursing her wounds. She heard alarms, bellowing, stampeding. Most of the human screams had died down, these were other dinosaurs. These were sounds she recognized from the island. The ruckus flowed from below the mansion to the outside; she could hear the commotion through the glass windows. The herd had found a way out.

She followed the noise. She didn't want to be left behind in this dark, empty building. The humans would come back, they always did, and she didn't intend to be here when they returned.

Back downstairs, past the burned and ruined lab, the carnage in the display hall, to a cargo bay with the door open wide.

Owen and Claire were outside with the little screaming girl, watching the last of the stragglers disappear into the trees. Owen turned, eyes falling on Blue, and extended his hand. All thoughts of the woods disappeared from Blue's mind. She trotted over to Owen, just like she had been trained, like the good girl she was. Clair and the girl hung back, clinging to each other nervously. Only Owen was unafraid to approach her. He ran his hand over the top of her skull, the side of her neck. He scratched the underside of her chin. She closed her eyes and trilled. How much they had changed, the both of them. The disasters that humans created had marked them. She had lost her sisters, he had lost his pack. They had hurt and betrayed each other. They had lost each other. But here they were, back together, he petting her while she was unrestrained and close enough to take his face off with one bite, her pressing her muzzle to his chest instead of sprinting into the darkness under the trees.

"Come with us, Blue," Owen whispered against the tough, grey-blue hide over her snout. She chittered into his shirt, then drew back. Blue couldn't understand English, of course, but she understood the droop of Owen's shoulders, his touch lingering on her skin, the pleading in his eyes. Her tiger eyes flicked from him, to Clair and the girl still huddled together on the steps, then the cage yawning like a cave on the lawn.

Her lip twitched. There was no going back to the life she'd had before, a life of safety and family. Owen couldn't protect her from the disaster that followed humans everywhere like a shadow. And she'd had a taste of freedom now. Going with Owen meant more cages, more confinement, more poking and prodding. Not all of the changes caused by the dangers they had lived through were good. Blue couldn't return to a pen, not now that she knew what it was like to live outside one.

With a huff of air, Blue turned and trotted into the forest without a second glance. She was afraid that if she looked back, she wouldn't be able to leave.

* * *

Blue didn't follow the stampede, even though the trail they had left was obvious – a wide swath of trampled earth and torn-off limbs, the heavy scent of hot hide and fear. If humans followed the stampede, she didn't want to be anywhere nearby. She would put enough distance between her and them this time. She veered off shortly after the lights of the manor vanished from view. Then she ran without stopping. She ducked under branches, splashed through puddles, leapt over logs. She startled creatures she had never seen before, groups of deer that bounded away in great leaps, a bear that snorted a warning and slapped at the dirt.

She ran until the sun rose and strange birds sang in the trees. She ran until the emerged from the forest and onto flat desert. She ran until she dropped down from a ridge and came upon a maze of short, squat buildings and a smell she would recognize anywhere hit her nose.

Humans.

* * *

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, it's shorter than my usual stuff but I enjoyed writing quick little vignettes about what was going through Blue's mind from JW on. Thanks again for all the reads and reviews.


End file.
